My shame!

They say I have your looks, I know I have your blood and I even have your talent. I hate looking in the mirror, I curse my genes and that talent of mine that one thing am truly good at, I've grown to hate, avoid and deny because of how much it reminds me of you! You've caused us pain and agony more than you can imagine and you still do...everyday! You're the reason I've grown so scared of people! I will always be ashamed am related to you......and I will never forgive you!!

:)

I like to find beauty in everything and a bright side to every crappy situation.....am mocked for that! But look at it that way I am happy with whatever I see and get....and you're miserable!


P.S. I don't own the picture!

Ramble!

   God! I haven't posted here in so long! Mainly it's because of the political situation here in my country which led to no internet for almost a month to me (well the government only cut it for a few days but some brilliant guy had the idea of robbing the service provider in my area). My intention was to write a political post my opinion about what happened and something about the few days of horror we had when we were cut from the world and the days of locked doors and standing on the streets with guns scared of burglars and random attacks that took place but then I decided if you're someone who took even a look at the news every now and then...then, you wouldn't want to read anymore about the political problems of Egypt. So I will just ramble for a while...enjoy!

    So after a pretty long winter break thanks to unsafe streets and curfew I got back to college last week! And I have a new obsession....and let's call him Jack!! I keep running into Jack everywhere on campus and we go on the same bus and even though we're in different majors and different academic years our schedules are pretty the same so yea we go to college at the same time...leave at the same time and have the same breaks! And of course stupid clumsy me would never talk so basically am waiting for him to start a conversation....pathetic I know! But I am not one of those girls....by that I mean I don't know how to....umm I don't know how to put this in words....is there a word for the girls who go after every guy and any guy who is slightly good looking and they know how to make the guy talk to them...I don't know the word so enlighten me please!

   Oh and I was just watching the re-run of the Oscars....and The King's Speech?? Did not see that coming thought it would be inception of the black swan....and shame none for Harry Potter!!

   OK I feel bad for you whoever you are reading this so I will put you out of your misery and I will just go work on my statistics assignment!! (yes statistics am a business major but I still have to do 12 credit hours of math).

Tchues!!

Up at 5:00 AM

I have a thing for movies that are regarded as weird or messed up.....they make me think. I think I am more messed up than I care to admit. I admit that I was in love with him and no matter what I do or say, a part of me will never forget him. Forgetting is a blessing mistakenly considered a curse, but if it wasn't for forgetting I'd still be in rock bottom. The good thing about rock bottom is you know for sure it can't any worse you can only get better or in the worst case scenario stay in the same place. I wouldn't have been in the place I am today if it wasn't for.....well, I can't really tell. Let's see I was in pain that led me to a place that led me to another better place that caused more pain causing me to go to that place and I met you....and now I have hope. Hope is the one thing that keeps me going till today. Today was boring and I was tired. He used to talk to me when he was tired, he used to tell me his secrets. I once heard someone say that secrets bring people closer...they don't, I have four best friends and they don't know my secret.

A Bed On The Side Of The Road

From the windows of my fancy Mercedes university bus, where we have every luxury you can think of including internet connection so that we don't get bored during our daily rides, I laid my eyes on what were as far as I could tell two men covered with blankets from head to toe, apparently sleeping on the side of the road. People and cars just passed by them like it was the most normal scene ever and for a minute there I was scared that one day the sight of dead bodies on the streets would be just as normal, but then I thought why should I worry I saw this while sitting comfortably in the fancy bus of one of the most prestgious and expensive universities in my country!

P.S this is sarcastic
P.S...I DON'T OWN THE PICTURE

Don't Come Back!

For every tear I cried, for every night I cried myself to sleep, for every sleepless night, for every ounce of hope you gave me and harshly took back…for every call I waited for and didn’t get, for every message I got no reply to, for every time you played with my feelings and for the past two years I spent whining over you and the year I spent talking about no one and to no one but you I shall never forgive you…I wish you well though!

I was so young and you were old enough to know better!

So you have no right to come back talking like nothing happened you don't have the right to!! So please just leave me be! I am finally okay with your absence....I am finally out of the dark! I finally smile and there's the slightest chance that someone might be able to put the light back in my eyes so don't ruin that my coming back all nice, funny and flirty!! I have crossed the thin line between love and hate and guess on which side I am now!!

Everything Happens For A Reason

For the first time in my life I decided to act crazy….ok well I wasn't really crazy but I was less of a quiet person that day. I danced all night with no care in the world, for the first time I didn’t really care how people saw me or what they thought of me. I was happy that night I wasn't thinking at all and I wasn't trying to impress anyone I was being me and enjoying the moment……and that was the moment I noticed him for the first time and he noticed me too. We had a moment….or several moments (no…not those kinds of moments but we smiled and talked). It was beautiful and so unexpected! I don't know when I will see him again but I know I will! I was never the kind of person who holds on to such moments but what happened that day made me want to hold on. Well what happened is: the day went all so wrong things got messy and I was about to give up on the party and not go but then I decided to go….and there he was! So yea for those moments and for him I'd do it all over again!

Until we meet again! J